Joke Standards Organisation

Water just yet to release its latent heat of vaporisation. Inundated biomatter in amorphous vessel. Temporal progress to produce final solution. Served with biscuits.

Milk is added to the round bottom flask.
A Soxhlate extractor is placed above.
A fractionating column is placed above that.
A triple jacketed condenser is placed above that.
Other steps follow including a cycling count.
The number of the counting shall be 30.
Tea is left to stand for 10 mins.
Tea is microwaved to desired temperature.

Milk is not under any circumstances added first. Must be the last step. To do it first will invalidate the standard and to tell anyone you are giving them a cup of tea like this is a grave insult.

• Measure out one oz of tea plus or minus 2 planck masses.
• Place the filtration sleeve 1 Smoot away from yourself.
• Toss the tea into the sleeve.
• All tea must make it into the sleeve. This ensures proper oxygenation of the tea.
• Setup the setup as mentioned in the concrete.
• Boil the water that should have been placed in the round bottom flask an hour ago.
• The condenser should start to fill the soxhlate extractor.
• Once the siphon has been triggered to the number of the counting.
  • A reminder that the number of the counting shall be 30.
  • No more
  • No less
  • 31 thou shall not count.
  • Neither count thou 29 excepting thou then proceed to 30.
  • 32 is right out unless using a mechanical binary marble counter then exceptions can be made if in northern hemisphere
• Once this is complete then leave the tea to stand for 10 mins.
• Then using a microwave or blowtorch heat to desired temperature (must be above 97.5C). The correct desired temperature can vary between types of tea. For black tea it must be above 102.5C.
• Then drink immediately.

Tea is a very important drink to the people of the world. Without it life isn't worth living. The standard of tea has been shown to directly impact happiness. Thus excellent tea production and preparation is essential. It is critical to the very essence of life to drink tea daily. Hourly if above 69 years old. In general there in the uk there is an daily time for tea drinking at 3:14 every day. Being required to work through this period is illegal and can be taken to the employment ombudsman. As William Shakespeare said in 1066.

Thou can take my life, my liberty but you will never take my tea.

Thus through this standard excellence can be grasped and maintained through rigorous reading regarding recipes. Lackadaisical languishing lamenting of this standard is a cardinal sin.